"It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."
It got me to thinking about how truthful we are with each other. Most of the time we feel like we have to put on a face or act a certain way when we are around this person or that person. I feel like this a lot of the time as a pastor. People come to me with their problems and worries and you name it and I feel as though I need to be the considerate, sheparding man of God that my calling lends itself to. However, there are times when I am disgusted with things. Things that I have no control over. Things that have built up...things that have come from our blind side. So here is my attempt at being honest and open for today:
I am...
frustrated with our church
frustrated with the youth group
isolated
deeply in love
waiting for something that I don't always have the faith for
wanting God to bring people around me that make me better
strongly in search of answers from God to the questions that are raging in my mind
thankful for music that touches my soul
hungry for change
feeling like a used car salesman
pressed and often times crushed it feels
wondering about the future
fearful of my flaws
passionately looking forward to a break
questioning things that happen and don't happen
debating my relevance in the face of decline and apapthy
trusting in God
waiting for Him to move
breathing spring and newness in
blessed because of God's unfailing love
awed by new life and fresh air
missing my friends
missing my family
thats about it...
still, I remain
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1 comment:
Honesty is always refreshing.
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