Friday, December 14, 2007

I am a man!

Dude...I just finished Donald Miller’s book, “To Own a Dragon: Reflections on growing up without a father”. What an eye opening book! Last May when we were at MB, South Carolina, Peggy (Sarah’s Mom) suggested that I read “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge and so I just recently started reading it hardcore (in the bathroom mind you). Surpisingly enough, the Miller book mentions the other book in the course of the discussion. It was all about men and how they somehow feel less of a man or no man at all when they don’t have their fathers affirmation. It is amazing to me at how deep this issue is in my life. Going in, I thought that I would just read it because I love Miller and maybe it will give me some pointers for when I have kids (none on the way, so don’t ask!). Boy oh boy was I wrong. In “To own a dragon”, Miller talks about how he felt like a burden to his father and that is a reason why his father never gave him the affirmation that he was indeed, a man. A theme that kept popping up was that he didnt know if he had what it took. He didn’t know if he had what it took to get this girl or get that job or get this grade or...you get the drift. Sometimes, I admit, that I struggle with this. Do I have what it takes to be better, to be a great husband, to be a great future father? Do I have what it takes for my boss or future bosses to like me? Can I do anything more than what I am doing right now? Could I do what “he’s” doing? Can I be a better leader? Can I ever play the guitar like “him”? Is my situation as good as someone elses? And it goes on and on.
Another thing that I struggle with is criticism. I know that it comes with the job, but I am still not very good at taking it. I try not to give it out too much and encourage more. I was reading this morning in “Wild at Heart” this passage in which Eldredge was just talking about D-day and how the men that successfully got up to the cliffs where stunned and shell shocked and how that resembles the men of today and more specifically in the church.

“They thought that becoming a Christian would somehow end their troubles, or at least reduce them considerably. No one ever told them they were being moved to front lines, and they seem genuinely shocked at the fact that they’ve been shot at.”



Being in leadership in any place in life is hard. Being in leadership in a church is magnified. Like that quote says, you’d think that leading a group of people that are supposed to be trying to be more like Jesus that you’d get fired at less often. I think, until recently, I was in a state of shock because I was so surprised that I was being shot at by those that were supposed to be on my side! I questioned whether or not I had what it took to be a pastor, a man that leads God’s people.
My conclusion: I am being shot at and I do have what it takes to stand against the forces, either man or the evil schemes of the enemy. Whether from in front of me or those that are supposed to be beside me. I can stand...I am a man. But more importantly, I am a man after God’s heart!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Christmas '07 ramblings

Hey there...just some quite random thoughts on Chrsitmas...Rudolph and the little drummer boy



1. This year is like every other year since Sarah and I have been married...8 different Christmas events to attend...wowsers! Christmas is getting expensive for us.

2. I was listening to Rudolph the RNR the other day and realized that Rudy is unlike a lot of us. Those other reindeer laughed and poked fun at and made him the butt of all their jokes. Then, one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, "Rudy with your nose so bright won't you guide my sleigh tonight". Here's the kicker, "THEN HOW THE REINDEER LOVED HIM"...how many of us would have just forgiven and stepped up to the plate like Rudy did? Americans, Christians and leaders seem to like to make a list and check it twice to remember all the times that other people have hurt us. We need to be careful that we don't let those nasty reindeer in our lives keep us from living up to what God has called us to do. (P.S. Why didn't Santa stop the ridicule? Does God give us the opportunity to be forgiving or just help us to forgive?)
http://www.gemmy.com/products/largeImage/16273-50.jpg
3. The little drummer boy struck me the other day. Just one line though, because we had to turn it because this is Sarah's least favorite song. "I have no gift to bring...Barrummmbbumm bum". We think so little of ourselves sometimes. We start to question who we are and what God was doing when he made us the way we are. We begin looking at others and think how much our lives would be better if we just were like them or had this ability. Well, we all have our own strengths and if you don't USE your's that doesn't mean that you don't have one. It means that you are sitting on an unwrapped gift that Jesus deserves and longs for you to use! You have no gift to bring? Bahumbug! We all do...find yours and use it....

4. This Christmas I have kept coming back to the nearness of Christ. That he was here. That he had a purpose and that was to come and then die and then rise from the dead and come back some day. God's spirit has been shown to me in this season by re-realizing that Jesus REALLY did come to Earth. It isn't like Santa Claus or a national, cultural tradition. It is HISTORY! Jesus did come...he has come and he will come!

5. Cherish all that you have. Family, friends, enemies... :)

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night