It's been a good while since I sat down and wrote out something from the depths of my heart. The past few months have been a flood of emotions, a hurricane of feelings and a downpour of change in my life. There were times when I wanted to write things down and "get them out" but the words just wouldn't come. So here it goes:
Back at the beginning of the year, which seems like a lifetime ago now, we felt it was time for us to move on from the church we were at to something else. It was tough to even come to that conclusion but we stepped out in faith (at the time) and believed that God had something for us. I resigned in February and started sending out resumes the first week of March. We took that step in faith because we believed that we were doing it the right way. We sent out resumes to over 20+ districts in one denomination and then to two different denominations outside of that. In all, over 200 potential churches.
We decided to cast the net as wide as possible and March came and went. April showed up and still nothing. The calendar turned to May and still nothing. Here's where the growing really started. You see...sometimes our timing and God's timing aren't on the same clock. I started doubting everything. Wondering if I "had what it takes" or if any church would even take a chance on me. My journey had started with a step out in faith and had turned into a lesson of doubt and discouragement. The brunt of my blatant lack of faith landed on Sarah. She was so understanding and supportive during this dark time in my life. She tried to uplift me and tell me I had what it took. A crazy thing happens when you go through colossal struggles in life. Those around you start to break out the old cliches and one liners mostly because they don't know what else to say. My family was backing me the whole way and I know that their prayers lifted me up. They had the faith for me that I so sorely lacked. I couldn't count the number of times in my private prayer times that I have just lamented to God that I just need to know where and when and what I should do. At the beginning of May I really wondered if God had forgotten me. In this universe that is so vast and with so many other people, whose needs were more desperate than mine, I wonder aloud sometimes if God had missed the memo. I questioned if I had done the wrong thing and had let down my family. I cried all the while angry at the fact that I felt I had done the right thing but not a thing was going right.
Then in May God stepped in. Haymount called. I took the call. We came down on a Tuesday and went home on a Thursday. We felt the potential and love of the people of Haymount. We thought that we could fill the needs that they needed and that the gifts that God had given me (which I had doubted for 3 months) would plug right into the holes that were here. They called the following Monday and we accepted the call. They looked at over 100 resumes. I sent my resume to over 200 churches. Still, here we are. All that to tell you my testimony this Monday July 26th, 2010:
God.Is.Faithful.
He undoubtedly loves us. He really does have the best in mind for us. He cares about our lives. He expects a lot out of us, but we are to expect a lot out of Him! When we have a need we should ask and then wait for Him to answer because He will. As Kari Jobe sings, "I know that you are for me. I know that you are for me. I know that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses." Up to this day, my life has been a blessed life. God has given me my best friend and wife even though I tried to mess that one up. He has blessed us with being at Shiloh for a lot of the "firsts" of our life together. He has given us a beautiful baby girl who teaches us about love every day. He has blessed us with family and with Christian parents who pray for us, who tell us those old cliches mainly because they are true and they have lived them, and who are still standing by us even though we are far away. He has recently blessed us with an apartment with A/C on 100 degree days! He opened up a job for Sarah. He has placed me in a ministry where I am surrounded by amazing people and I have the privilege of building new relationships with some great students! I get to come along side and help with New Sanctuary and help with that service in ways that I love.
God...Is...Faithful.
If there is one thing I've learned about faith it is this: You can't be told that God is faithful. You have to go through a situation where you get to the point where you can do nothing else but trust Him to understand the depths of His faithfulness and love for you.
I hope that this finds you well and blessed. May you know the rest that comes from trusting in a God who is for you! May you come to know that He will never forsake you in your weaknesses...He only becomes stronger!
II Thess. 3:3, " But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."
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